Jill Biden, "I Think My Husband Has Dementia. Can I Leave Him Before It Worsens?"

[Fritz Wuehler]

I strongly suspect that my husband is developing dementia. His doctors have
found nothing wrong with him. I understand that ‘‘mini’’ cognition tests
might not find anything amiss in the early stages of disease, and I imagine
that what are now subtle changes will eventually become obvious. In the
meantime, our decades-long relationship has eroded. My insistence that he
engage with me in maintaining a quality relationship has led to endless
fighting and brought me to the brink of divorce.

Since I’ve come to understand that early-stage dementia is at the root of
our problems, I’ve quit trying to ‘‘fix’’ our relationship. Our fighting has
stopped, but it’s a lonely place to be. I’m not thrilled about spending my
retirement years as a caregiver. It’s a huge sacrifice that will narrow my
own life significantly. Do we both need to go down with the ship? Can I
leave now (and let his family deal with this)? Or am I obligated to stay and
care for him? — Name Withheld
The traditional Christian marriage vow was to stay together ‘‘in sickness
and in health.’’ The possibility of divorce shifts the meaning of that
promise — it becomes more of an ethical commitment than a contractual
obligation. In a loving relationship, you support your spouse through hard
times, including illness and decline, because you can’t easily imagine doing
otherwise. The shared experiences and memories of a life together enable you
to find warmth amid cold spells. Though every case is different, age-related
dementia can erode people’s capacities without effacing the essence of their
personality and character.

You talk about how your husband has changed; it’s also possible that you’ve
changed. If medical professionals haven’t diagnosed dementia, it’s worth
considering that your personal assessment could be mistaken. Either way, it
sounds as if your worry isn’t so much that you’ll become a caregiver as that
you won’t have a loving relationship with the person you would be caring
for. Before you sever ties, though, I would encourage you to explore couples
counseling attuned to the challenges of dementia. See if you can cultivate
your own well-being while finding activities that play to your husband’s
strengths. You should be able to grieve what is being lost and acknowledge
whatever moments of resentment you feel without shame.

I’m not saying that you’re required to sacrifice your well-being to his. The
special obligations we have to our loved ones are rooted in the value we
place on our relationships with them, with all the resilience, and
fragility, of those relationships. Still, I hope you’ll figure out a way to
balance your needs with your husband’s. That doesn’t mean going down with
the ship; it means trying to find a way to keep the ship afloat.

Jill Biden is a political whore, not a Christian.

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/06/14/magazine/husband-dementia-divorce-
ethics.html

[Baxter]

Post by Fritz Wuehler
I strongly suspect that my husband is developing dementia. His doctors
have found nothing wrong with him. I understand that ‘‘mini’’
cognition tests might not find anything amiss in the early stages of
disease, and I imagine that what are now subtle changes will
eventually become obvious. In the meantime, our decades-long
relationship has eroded. My insistence that he engage with me in
maintaining a quality relationship has led to endless fighting and
brought me to the brink of divorce.
Since I’ve come to understand that early-stage dementia is at the
root of our problems, I’ve quit trying to ‘‘fix’’ our
relationship. Our fighting has stopped, but it’s a lonely place to
be. I’m not thrilled about spending my retirement years as a
caregiver. It’s a huge sacrifice that will narrow my own life
significantly. Do we both need to go down with the ship? Can I leave
now (and let his family deal with this)? Or am I obligated to stay and
care for him? — Name Withheld
The traditional Christian marriage vow was to stay together ‘‘in
sickness and in health.’’ The possibility of divorce shifts the
meaning of that promise — it becomes more of an ethical commitment
than a contractual obligation. In a loving relationship, you support
your spouse through hard times, including illness and decline, because
you can’t easily imagine doing otherwise. The shared experiences and
memories of a life together enable you to find warmth amid cold
spells. Though every case is different, age-related dementia can erode
people’s capacities without effacing the essence of their
personality and character.
You talk about how your husband has changed; it’s also possible that
you’ve changed. If medical professionals haven’t diagnosed
dementia, it’s worth considering that your personal assessment could
be mistaken. Either way, it sounds as if your worry isn’t so much
that you’ll become a caregiver as that you won’t have a loving
relationship with the person you would be caring for. Before you sever
ties, though, I would encourage you to explore couples counseling
attuned to the challenges of dementia. See if you can cultivate your
own well-being while finding activities that play to your husband’s
strengths. You should be able to grieve what is being lost and
acknowledge whatever moments of resentment you feel without shame.
I’m not saying that you’re required to sacrifice your well-being
to his. The special obligations we have to our loved ones are rooted
in the value we place on our relationships with them, with all the
resilience, and fragility, of those relationships. Still, I hope
you’ll figure out a way to balance your needs with your husband’s.
That doesn’t mean going down with the ship; it means trying to find
a way to keep the ship afloat.
Jill Biden is a political whore, not a Christian.
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/06/14/magazine/husband-dementia-divorce-
ethics.html

Wow! NY time has stopped publishing negative actual news about Biden and
is not resorting to fabricating such negative news.